Bad parking -the ultimate solution
I was in the car park heading to work when I noticed someone in an angry 4*4 had decided it was important to park the beast in such a way as to take up almost two spaces.
It was a massive car, the man could have fitted his entire family and his ego in the front and still had room to park the chip from his shoulder in the back.
No I thought, this will not do. So, fighting for the little men like me, I squeezed my jalopy into what was left of the space next to him, thus rendering his driver's side door unusable. Joy.
To my surprise mind, when I got out a man in his 50s with hair suspiciously in its 20s and the clothes of a teenager was looking pretty cross.He told me with very robust words that I should move my 'pile of shit'.
I, of course, refused as a mild acceptance often offends.He got even crosser. Explaining how I was thrilled he had embraced his inner twat did not help.I was stunned when he called me a useless c**t. It always amazes me that people feel the need to add the adjective useless. It's as though the word c**t is not offensive enough on its own so it needs help to hit the mark.
I am pretty thick skinned so simply stared at him and smiled a toothy grin before pointing out that of the two of us, only one couldn't get into his car.His hair moved in an unnatural way and he spoke very quickly as his arseless jeans heaved way too low down the waist for a man of my sensibilities.I watched as he gave up and climbed across the passenger side.I smiled as he finally reversed out and happily dismissed with a 'whadayagonnado' shrug as his 4*4 horn, which he used as though it unleashed missiles, blasted.His hair was at a most peculiar angle as he flashed a defeated V sign at me as him, the wrong trousers and a car too cool for one space made their way out.Some people are born twats, others have twatness thrust upon them.
This chap has now been promoted to prick.